1. revising for conciseness - eliminating flabby expressions, limiting long lead-ins, and dropping unnecessary fillerstime is money in any business environment. people want information communicated quickly and clearly. to make your writing more concise and understandable, avoid flabby expressions, long lead-ins, and unnecessary fillers. your audience will appreciate your brevity.1. if your writing contains a flabby expression like in view of the fact that, replace it with the word because / although / probably .for each of the following two sentences, choose the best revision.2. i am sending you this letter to inform you that we have experienced an unexpected surprise within our expense sheet, but we are positively certain we will solve it.1) we need to inform you that we have experienced an unexpected surprise with our expense sheet, but we are midway to an end result.2) we have identified a problem with our expense sheet, but we will solve it.3) i am sending you this letter to inform you that we have a problem with our expense sheet, but we are positively certain we have a solution.3. it is the user who should contact the center.1) everyone knows that it is the user who should contact the center.2) the user should contact the center.3) if there is a problem, the user should contact the center. read the following passage, and then answer the question. you scheduled seven conference calls for this morning between 10 and 11 a. m.  generally, the company limits the number of conference calls to three per hour.  i’m letting you know that in the future, we should be more careful about scheduling.4. which revision limits the long lead-in in sentence 3? 1) in the future, we should be more careful about scheduling.2) i’m letting you know so that in the future we are more careful about scheduling calls.3) so that you know in the future, we should be more careful about scheduling.
Flabby expression is extra words that make your writing seems unclear, weak, rambling, and unstructured. It often contains overused words which seem meaningless to the reader.
It is required to eliminate the unnecessary words in order to make your writing reach a higher level. You need to make your message become concise. These examples show you how to change the flabby expressions into the concise ones.
As a general rule
At a later date
At this point in time
Despite the fact that
Due to the fact that
b. Limiting Long Lead-Ins
This means you need to delete unnecessary introductory words.
Instead of saying “I am sending you this e-mail to announce that we have hired a new manager”, you can say “We have hired a new manager”.
Dropping unnecessary there is/ are and it is/ was fillers
d. Rejecting Redundancies
Redundancies are expressions with repeating meaning or including unnecessary words (redundant. For example, the word unexpected surprise can be changed into surprise because unexpected carries the same meaning as surprise. Here are the examples of redundant and concise words.
. Purging empty words
Empty words and phrases: case, degree, the fact, factor, instance, nature and quality.
Because of the degree of active participation by our sales reps, profit soared.
It sounds better when we remove them.
Avoid saying the obvious.
If it comes, omit it.
This is to inform you that we have a toll-free service line
Clauses begin with that, which and who can often be shortened without loss of clarity.
All employees who are among those completing the course will be reimbursed.
Revising for clarity
KISS stands for Keep It Short and Simple. KISS formula is using active-voice sentences that avoid indirect, pompous language.
b. Cliches and Slang
Cliches are expressions, words, and phrases which are overused. For example, you say “below the belt” instead of “last but least”.
Slang is informal words with changeable meanings. For example, you write “gr8” instead of “great”.
Designing Documents for Readability
a. Employing white space
Use headings, bulleted numbers, effective margins, and Improve readibility and comprehension (shortening sentences & paragraphs) to increase the white space
b. Understanding Margins and Text Alignment
Business letters or memos usually have side margins of 1 to 1 ½ inches.
c. Choosing Appropriate Typefaces
Two most categories in business message are Serif typefaces whichh have small features at the end of strokes (e.g. Times New Roman, Century, Georgia and Palatino), and Sans serif typefaces which are clean and widely used for headings, signs and material that doesnt require continuous reading (e.g Arial, Calibri, Helvetica, Tahoma, Univers and Verdana)
For less formal message or decorative effects :
Happy, Creative script/ funny (Comic Sans, Brush script, Gigi, Jokerman, Kristen)
Assertive, Bold, Modern Display (Britannic Bold, Broadway, Elephant, Impact, showcard)
Plain Monospaced (Courier, Letter Gothic, Prestige Elite)
d. Capitalizing on Type Fonts and Sizes
During revision process, you need to think about font style and size appropriately. Make it looks comfortable according to the necessity.
e. Adding Headings for Visual Impact
By adding headings, you can improve readability, encourage the writer to group similar material together, and help busy readers to skim.
All examples are given in attachment